Funny Baseball Quotes


We have the best collection of funny baseball quotes or funny quotes about baseball for you to enjoy and share.


Funny Baseball Quotes > Page 1

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1
Baseball is like church. Many attend; few understand.
~ Leo Durocher
4.22
2
For the parents of a Little Leaguer, a baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown into innings.
~ Earl Wilson
4.20
3
The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.
~ Casey Stengal
4.20
4
The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.
~ Casey Stengel
4.20
5
I'd rather hit than have sex.
~ Reggie Jackson
4.16
6
Trying to sneak a fastball past Hank Aaron is like trying to sneak the sunrise past a rooster.
~ Joe Adcock
4.16
7
If you don't win, you're going to be fired. If you do win, you've only put off the day you're going to be fired.
~ Leo Durocher
4.16
8
I know a baseball star who wouldn't report the theft of his wife's credit cards because the thief spends less than she does.
~ Joe Garagiola
4.16
9
I never questioned the integrity of an umpire. Their eyesight, yes.
~ Leo Durocher
4.16
10
It's unbelievable how much you don't know about the game you've been playing all your life.
~ Mickey Mantle
4.16
11
You don't save a pitcher for tomorrow. Tomorrow it may rain.
~ Leo Durocher
4.16
12
Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalised for too many players on the field.
~ Jim Boulton
4.16
13
God watches over drunks and third baseman.
~ Leo Durocher
4.16
14
You don't realize how easy this game is until you get up in that broadcasting booth.
~ Mickey Mantle
4.16
15
There are three things in my life which I really love: God, my family, and baseball. The only problem—once baseball season starts, I change the order around a bit.
~ Al Gallagher
4.16
16
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
~ Hank Aaron
4.16
17
If I were playing third base and my mother were rounding third with the run that was going to beat us, I'd trip her. Oh, I'd pick her up and brush her off and say, "Sorry, Mom," but nobody beats me.
~ Leo Durocher
4.16
18
Candlestick was built on the water. It should have been built under it.
~ Roger Maris
4.16
19
Baseball is religion without the mischief.
~ Thomas Boswell
4.16
20
A baseball park is the one place where a man's wife doesn't mind his getting excited over somebody else's curves.
~ Brendan Francis
4.16
21
Buy a steak for a player on another club after the game, but don't even speak to him on the field. Get out there and beat them to death.
~ Leo Durocher
4.16

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