Funny Boyfriend Quotes


We have the best collection of funny boyfriend quotes or funny quotes about boyfriend for you to enjoy and share.


Funny Boyfriend Quotes > Page 1

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1
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
~ Phyllis Diller
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2
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
~ Rita Rudner
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3
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.
~ Cindy Gardner
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4
My mom always complains about my lack of a boyfriend. Well, next time she asks, I'm going to tell her I'm dating two different guys — Mr Duracell and Mr Energizer.
~ Michelle Landry
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5
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
~ Erma Bombeck
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6
My marriage is on the rocks again; yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
~ Rodney Dangerfield
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7
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day — and another, in case it doesn't rain.
~ Mae West
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8
When Charles Dickens wrote 'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,' I believe he must have been having an affair with his married ex-boyfriend.
~ Carrie Bradshaw
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9
My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don't have sex ever. Now that the milk is free, we've both become lactose intolerant.
~ Margaret Cho
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10
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am.
~ Unknown
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11
The average Hollywood film star's ambition is to be admired by an American, courted by an Italian, married to an Englishman and have a French boyfriend.
~ Katharine Hepburn
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12
My boyfriend calls me 'princess', but I think of myself more along the lines of 'monkey' and 'retard'.
~ Alicia Silverstone
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13
If he loves you then don't waste that, you might never be able to get it back.
~ Laurel
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14
I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.
~ Tracy Smith
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15
For my high colestorol my doctor prescribed me a boyfriend.
~ Loesje
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