Funny Dating Quotes


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Odds on meeting a single man: 1 in 23; a cute, single man: 1 in 429; a cute, single, smart man, 1 in 3,245,873; when you look your best, 1 in a billion.
~ Lorna Adler
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17
I want a man who is kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor
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18
A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows.
~ Monica Piper
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19
My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.
~ Jenny McCarthy
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20
I once dated a girl on the track team. It didn't work out. She kept giving me the runaround.
~ Scott Roeben
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21
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
~ Woody Allen
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22
Never date a woman whose father calls her princess, chances are she believes it.
~ Anonymous
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23
I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over.
~ Garry Shandling
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24
My mom always complains about my lack of a boyfriend. Well, next time she asks, I'm going to tell her I'm dating two different guys -- Mr. Duracell and Mr. Energizer.
~ Michelle Landry
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25
Dating is so insecure. My last relationship, I was always there for her and she dumped me. I told her about it. I said, "Remember when your grandma died? I was there. Remember when you flunked out of school? I was there. Remember when you lost your job? I was there!" She said, "I know -- you're bad luck."
~ Tom Arnold
4.13
26
I only date stewardesses. Or maybe it just seems that way. Women always seem to be showing me the exits.
~ Scott Roeben
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27
Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
~ Rita Rudner
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28
I have no luck with women. I once went on a date and asked the woman if she'd brought any protection. She pulled a switchblade on me.
~ Scott Roeben
4.13

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