Funny Dating Quotes


We have the best collection of funny dating quotes or funny quotes about dating for you to enjoy and share.


Funny Dating Quotes > Page 1

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1
One woman I was dating called and said, 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
~ Rodney Dangerfield
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2
What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you'll wind up naked at the end of it.
~ Jerry Seinfield
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3
I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.
~ Gary Shandling
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4
Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But i never met a girl yet who has fallen in love with an old ugly man who's broke.
~ Rodney Dangerfield
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5
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
~ Wendy Leibman
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6
Envy is what makes you, when an acquaintance is lustily telling you that she's dating a Greek god of a guy, ask, 'Which one, Hades?'
~ Regina Barreca
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7
I was on a date with this really hot model. Well, it wasn't really a date date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed.
~ Dave Attell
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8
When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, 'I want my daughter back by 8:15.' I said, 'The middle of August? Cool!'
~ Steven Wright
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9
I have no self-confidence. When girls say yes, I tell them to think it over.
~ Rodney Dangerfield
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10
Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again.
~ Susan Healy
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11
I date this girl for two years — and then the nagging starts: 'I wanna know your name...'
~ Mike Binder
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12
Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.
~ Mike Binder
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13
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
~ Rita Mae Brown
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14
Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible.
~ Andy Warhol
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15
I was dating a guy for a while because he told me he had an incurable disease. I didn't realize it was stupidity.
~ Gracie Hart
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