Funny God Quotes


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1
Every day, people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
~ Lenny Bruce
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2
Pray as if everything depended upon God and work as if everything depended upon man.
~ Francis Cardinal Spellman
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3
Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
~ Lily Tomlin
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4
When it comes to God’s existence, I’m not an atheist and I’m not an agnostic. I’m an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.
~ George Carlin
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5
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
~ Woody Allen
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6
Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
~ Indian Proverb
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7
If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.
~ Jewish Proverb
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8
Skeptic that I was as an adolescent, I had recently come to believe in a Supreme Being after thumbing through a Victoria’s Secret catalogue.
~ Woody Allen
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9
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.
~ Mother Teresa
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10
Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God.
~ Heywood Broun
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