Funny Husband Quotes


We have the best collection of funny husband quotes or funny quotes about husband for you to enjoy and share.


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1
I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.
~ Marie Corelli
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2
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
~ Ogden Nash
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3
My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.
~ Roseanne Barr
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4
The only man you will ever get is some fool named Grady who falls asleep in his soup.
~ Will Smith
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5
When a wife has a good husband it is easily seen in her face.
~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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6
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
~ Agatha Christie
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7
Husbands are like fires - they go out if unattended.
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor
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8
How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.
~ Oscar Wilde
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9
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
~ Jim Carrey
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10
When a man does exactly what a woman expects him to do she doesn't think much of him. One should always do what a woman doesn't expect, just as one should say what she doesn't understand.
~ Oscar Wilde
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