Funny Sex Quotes


We have the best collection of funny sex quotes or funny quotes about sex for you to enjoy and share.


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I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
~ Phyllis Diller
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32
As a lover, I’m about as impressive as a magician on the radio.
~ Scott Roeben
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33
I think I mentioned to Bob [Geldof] I could make love for eight hours. What I didn’t say was that this included four hours of begging and then dinner and a movie.
~ Sting
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34
Continental people have sex lives; the English have hot-water bottles.
~ George Mikes
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35
I’ll come and make love to you at five o’clock. If I’m late, start without me.
~ Tallulah Bankhead
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36
Conversation like television set on honeymoon…unnecessary.
~ Peter Sellers
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37
He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.
~ Les Dawson
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38
Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone.
~ Dave Letterman
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39
I practice safe sex – I use an airbag.
~ Garry Shandling
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40
I’m a terrible lover. I’ve actually given a woman an anti-climax.
~ Scott Roeben
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41
It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
~ George Burns
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42
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's a pretty good one.
~ Woody Allen
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43
Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying.
~ Rita Rudner
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44
My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
~ Steve Jobs
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45
A girl’s legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.
~ Redd Foxx
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